With children
It is important to involve children, in an age-appropriate way, in safety planning. The children’s safety plan should align with their mother’s.
The goal of the children’s safety plan is for them to feel empowered and know how to get help if they need it. Of course, it is important for children to understand that they are not responsible for the violence or abuse they witness or are subjected to. Just as a woman’s safety plan has to be adjusted to meet her current circumstances, so must a child’s.
A children’s safety plan should focus on:
- Getting to a safe place during violent episodes.
- Having a code word so they know when to call for help.
- Knowing how to call 911 and what to say.
- Knowing who are safe people for them to talk to about the abuse at home.
- Protecting their online privacy and safety, which could include shutting down tracking functions and checking their devices regularly in case the abuser has installed spyware.
Learn more about safety planning for children on the Luke’s Place website FamilyCourtAndBeyond.ca.
At work
The workplace can become a dangerous place after separation for women who are employed outside the home. While many women want to keep the abuse in their family private, safety at work will be enhanced if they tell at least one person in the workplace about it.
Work-related safety plan considerations include:
- Talking to a co-worker, supervisor and/or security staff about her concerns and what she needs to feel safe at work (e.g., screening calls, secure parking, accompaniment to and from parking, prohibition on abuser entering the premises).
- Increasing privacy and security systems on workplace electronic devices.
- Changing her transportation arrangements to and from work (e.g., taking a different bus route, driving with a co-worker, using a different route to drive to work).
- Providing a photo of the abuser and their vehicle to co-workers or security, including licence plate number when possible, so they can keep an eye out for the abuser.
In the community
A woman may need to adjust her daily habits to feel safe when she is out and about in her community, especially in the first months after leaving an abuser. It is frustrating and unfair for a woman to have to change her life when she has done nothing wrong, but doing so may make her feel less frightened when she is going about her daily routines.
These adjustments could include:
- Changing her regular shopping routines; for example, buying groceries at a different store or at a different time of day than she did when she lived with the abuser.
- Meeting friends for social encounters at different locations than in the past.
- Varying her fitness routine: picking a new running route, joining a different gym or going at a different time.
- Parking her car in a safe place.
- Going to a different movie theatre.
- Carrying her cellphone with her at all times and, if she is worried her ex-partner might be stalking her electronically, disabling the GPS function.
- Carrying a loud whistle or alarm that she can use if the abuser approaches her and she cannot get away.
- Changing health/wellness service providers, particularly if the abuser goes to the same one.
- Taking the long way home or varying which route she takes.
- Changing the appearance of her vehicle, i.e., having it painted a different colour, having the license plate number changed, repairing or removing distinguishing features such as rust spots or bumper stickers.