At greatest risk
Safety should be the top consideration when a woman is planning to leave an abusive partner. Women are at the highest risk of being killed at the time of separation, beginning when the abuser knows or perceives that she is planning to leave.
The risk of ongoing abuse, including lethal violence, is even greater when the two partners remain under the same roof during the separation process.
When leaving
Safety plan considerations for women at this stage include:
- Ensuring her lawyer knows how to safely contact her.
- Not keeping any information about her plan to leave where the abuser or children can find it.
- It is highly likely the abuser is monitoring her through the family’s technology so she must be extremely careful in how she uses it. Learn more about tech safety.
- Planning to leave when she knows she has at least a few hours in the house while the abuser is elsewhere.
- Limiting the amount of information the children have about her plans.
- Trying to take everything she will need with her when she leaves.
- Having a safe place she can get to quickly.
- Leaving a note for the abuser letting them know that she and the children are safe and she will be in touch to make arrangements for parenting time with the children.
- Providing a copy of that note to the RCMP/police so they know she has not abducted her children.
Planning ahead
If you are working with a woman before she leaves the family home, you can assist her in making a plan to collect and take documents and other items that she will need later. Both she and you need to remember that safety—hers and her children’s—is more important than any document or possession, no matter how treasured it may be.
Encourage the woman you are working with to take the following steps before leaving the family home:
Financial
- Open her own bank account.
- Organize tax returns—hers and her partner’s—and put them in a safe place.
- Get a new credit card in her name only.
- Remove half the money in any joint bank accounts once she is in a safe place.
Housing
- Contact the women’s shelter to learn about its services.
- Begin looking for housing.
- Find out about cheap or free sources of furniture and appliances.
Legal
- Find a lawyer and have an initial consultation.
- Apply for a legal aid certificate.
- Begin making a list of the history of abuse.
- Remove originals or make photocopies of any existing court orders.
Work
- Let her employer know about her situation. She and/or her support people may be able to get accommodation or paid time off work to deal with the violence.
- Find new ways to get to and from work so it is harder for her partner to follow her.
- Begin developing a workplace safety plan.
Children
- Make a plan for taking children’s favourite toys, clothes, etc., with her when she leaves.
Communication
- Update contact information on her cell phone so she has a record of all the numbers she might need.
- Create or change phone and computer passwords.
- Back up important digital information to a secure location.
Documents
- Remove passports from the home.
- Photocopy immigration/citizenship papers and keep a copy in a safe location.
- Photocopy marriage certificate and keep a copy in a safe location.
- Ensure all documents related to a vehicle, if applicable, are in a safe location.
- Photocopy birth certificates, health cards, driver’s licence, SIN card, drug cards/workplace benefits information and keep a copy in a safe location.
Treasured items
- Remove treasured items from the home or assemble them so they will be easy to remove quickly.
Keys
- Have copies made of important keys (house, cars, workplace, etc.) and keep a complete set in a safe location.